whats up people ...
man, i gotta tell you. i am by no means gay ... but when i watch the OC on fox, i swear my level of gayness doubles, if not triples.
is that a bad thing? i dont know ... but as long as the oc is on, i will watch it.
OC RECAP: Spoilers
so, first off ... teresa is at the clinic getting a pregnancy test ... now, i REALLY had to piss at this point ... so when they got to the cohen's crib, they just came out with the news that teresa, did indeed have a lil chino xl growing inside of her ...
my one question is, is it ryans? i dont know if that has been established? as far as the actions taken in this episode ... i would certainly think that the lil bastard is his ...
aight, kirsten coaxes sandy into making a peace offering to her dad, by giving him a rim job in the kitchen ... when sandy rolls over there to holler at caleb, he is all stressed + black eye = cool.
he basically tells him that he and jimmy fucked him over on a business deal that would keep his company from going under, by the vegas incident. sandy is like "my bad"
then teresa decides that she is gonna have an abortion ... seth is like w00t, lets go sailing ... because i just remembered i have a boat !!
they roll to the dock, and post up on the dock for a little while ...
kirsten takes teresa to the clinic for the consultation about the "ultimate douche" ... after that they have lunch ... and kirsten unintentionally convinces teresa to have the lil bastard ...
teresa tells ryan this, and he is like "damn ..." then teresa is like, im leaving because i know you cant handle this ...
which makes me ask the question, what is up with these b00tches, fuck that ... women in general?
as men, we are pretty much damned if we do, damned if we dont ... in ryan's case ... either leave teresa in chino by herself to raise chino xl by herself, and pretty much insure his celibacy for the rest of his OC tenure ... or leave the palace with fine b00tches at every turn ...
and im like ... teresa, you b00tch, what the fuck are you doing? you keep on making decisions and fuckin up the "vibe" in the OC ... and then when everyone turns their life upside down to accomodate you, youre like ... oh wait ... um, lets do this instead ...
thats why i hate my fellow mexicans ... they always fuck things up in the OC ... those bastards ...
anyway ... while all this is happening ... marissa and julie cooper move into the dopest crib this side of ice t's place with the drop top pool... little do they know, that the repo-depot is about to cop that bitch ...
while all this is going on, summer decides that she doesnt want a cohen XL running around, and puts an end to what some dont see nothin wrong with ... that being "a lil bump and grind" ...
seth, being the pimptastically gangsta em0 kid ... decides to slang sail boats in order to raise money for chino xl's college fund ... thought he had sold his skooner, till dude is like "oh wait ... you aint got layaway?" ... then seth gets pissed ...
finally the wedding comes full circle ... its all well and good, i guess ... at the dinner beforehand ... ryan announces to the clique that he is gonna keep it thoroughly gangsta and roll back to chino w/ teresa and raise chino xl ...
everyone is like "damn homie" ... but seth is like "fuck that son!" ... and he is pissed ... dude is like, wtf am i gonna do? and summer is like "me" ... and seth is like, i named my scooner after you, now bounce b00tch ...
so here is what happens to everyone on the last episode ...
sandy cohen:
tries once again to help caleb out of legal trouble, but basically finds out the caleb is indeed "fucked" ... also gets blowed by kirsten (presumably) in order to do the above favor for caleb.
kirsten cohen:
apparently ... she has something in her past that came out in the conversation with teresa, i really dunno wtf that is ... but ... um ... maybe she had an abortion? maybe SHE had a baby with ryan? dont know ... if you do, holler at your boy.
seth cohen:
dude is seriously suicidal over ryan rollin out ... decides to roll out on his boat, leaving 2 notes at the crib with cool squiggly lines on them ... 1 for the parental units, another for his b00tch ...
summer:
really not a big factor in this episode, just there to look at ... which is fine with me ...
marissa cooper:
is ALMOST as suicidal as seth is ... but she is handling it better. instead of sailing away from her problems, she is drinking them away ... *daps* on that one ... i can feel that. she also moved in with her hot ass mom. threesome?
julie cooper:
got married to caleb ... not aware of the legal/financial trouble looming next season ...
caleb:
marries julie ... IS aware of the legal/financial trouble looming next season.
jimmy cooper:
apparently he got a lot of money ... and in order to get that ... marissa had to move in with her hot mom, and caleb ....
threesome?
hailey:
helped marissa move ... pretty much it ... more eyecandy though ... so its all good with me ...
ryan:
dude found out his ex was having a baby ... then he found out she wasnt ... oh wait, she is a female ... she IS having the baby afterall. being a stand up aussie, fearing deportation ... homie does the noble thing and decides to roll to chino to help raise the little bastard.
teresa:
fucks up the OC real good one last time before restaking her claim on the man from land down under, and rolls out in her banana mobile.
man, this episode was bananas ...
one question ... why didnt ryan stop and say bye to marissa? they like ... drove right by her ... i was like "hmm, odd"
it was crazy though. good shit. good shit, indeed.
i live you with one parting thought ...
where the fuck is luke?!?!???!
I'M NOT GAY
-i'm 0ut: - joe @ 11:39 PM
--------------------------------
Comments:
Post a Comment
