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Wednesday, May 26, 2004

so ... looks like i have a slim, slim, slim chance of graduating.

but a slim chance is better than what i had last week. so i will take it.

now on to some random goodness. also known as, a rant of whatever pops into my head.


instant messanger.

who are you?

i have like 60 buddies on my list ... i know, some people have upwards of a thousand - more on that later, but i really only talk to MAYBE ten of those people ...

i was talking to some random bitch earlier ... if you are reading, im talking about someone else ... (nice save, *high five*) ... and i went to add her to my list ...

i realized. i dont know who half of these sons of bitches are. who the hell is trance0812? X8Badlands8X? who the fuck are you people?? if you are reading, holler at your boy ...

of better yet, one of you loyal readers (im talking to you nick), message these people and just be like, who the hell are you homie? and how do you know this man they call "dizzle"?

on to my next point.



the uber-buddy list.

why the hell do some people have literally hundreds of buddies? i dont even think i see a hundred people in one day, much less actually talk to them ... why the hell do you have so many people linked to your computer?

is it some sort of security blanket? you only have 2 real friends, one of which has been your next door neighbor since birth.

and the other? he doesnt even really like you ... but is a friend of your one real friend, so friend 2 manages to fight through your unrelenting onslought of corny jokes and overal jackassism, in order to hang out with the aforementioned friend 1.

anyway.

if those two dudes are busy ... you can fall back on one of those 300 middle-aged balding white men pretending to be a hot girl ...

so when friend 1 throws out the question, "what'd you do last night man?" ... you can honestly tell them ... "oh, just kicked it with my girl ... you know how that goes".

then you procede to wink at him and give him the old elbow nudge accompanied by the required phrase of "if you know what i mean ..."

this will usually be met with the fake laugh, aka exhaling loudly while saying "yeah, heh" ... followed my a very subtle rolling of the eyes ... which looks a little something like this ...

*rolls eyes*

word.

so anyway ... um, yeah... dont have so many damn buddies, nobody really likes you that much anyway. i know i dont.










asshole.



on to my next point ...


creative screen names.

come on people ... you need to get creative with your screen names ... i mean, take me for example. JoeGalvan02. that shit is genius.

but a lot of people really need to step up their game ... why are there so many default words for screen name handles? like grl, or h0ttie, or boi.

sorry, but that shit is gay x 100. and you know shit is weak when your gayness factor has to be expressed in exponential form. queer ass.

if i add another random bitch (no, not you ...*looks around*) to my buddy list with grl, or h0ttie, or pRince$$ in their screen name. i will make my one goal in life to hunt you down, and slap the fuck out of you.

if you are somewhat attractive, sex may or may not be an option ... depending on when the slapping occurs ... and how much you like it. you freaky whore.

but, if i know the internet like i think i do ... the latter wont be a problem ...

i know half of these b00tches on my buddy list are old, white males that suffer from pedofilia ... who go through such elaborate escapades such as these in order lure a young buck like myself into a face to face meeting so they can buffalo bill me like in joe dirt.

btw, lilCutieGrl2006 ... i'll be there on monday, sweet thang ...



damn ... i planned on doin some more randomness, but AIM stepped up to the plate and filled this post.

so, umm ... yeah.



update:

after publishing this post ... i received this IM ...

SxyJennyo5x8fm: Hey cutie I saw your profile, we match up good! Check out my website by http://www.yahoo.com/members/pae/camsxy. LUV YA!@

its as if those bastards knew about my crusade against AIM! those bastards! who really reads profiles anyway?


links:
the devil: aim.com
the genius: tshirthell.com
the pimptasticly gangsta: jg- portfolio

-i'm 0ut:  -  joe  @  11:41 PM
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